"Off-the-Road" Road Rage

Since I got my new car back in March, I have been able to experience the roads of Minneapolis-St. Paul and Maryland (well, I learned this one over that past 10 years, but whatev). And... well, as most of us can attest to, we all get our little bit of road rage when... how shall I put this... incompetant idiots... take the road. Be it that they are just ignorant, stupid, inattentive, or just completely oblivious... these people just grind you to no end. Driving can be a pain as it is when millions of other people hit the roads and highways at rush hour, but its these SPECIAL people that make your drive horrible.... I'm just gonna list a few of those things that really really tick me off....

1) Just because a road is wide enough for two cars in one lane... that doesn't mean its a) legal or b ) even remotely necessary. Yes, I'm talking to you Black Lexus on Dale and Selby the other day X(.  When roads  are wide enough for two cars in a single lane, its usually for two very specific purposes which are; I am taking a left turn and you are going straight, or you are taking a right turn.... In NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you try to go straight while I'm going straight through an intersection in a single lane and have the audacity to honk at me or hit the gas so you don't hit that parked car :\.

2)I'm sorry your in a rush, but switching lanes 6 times in a mile isn't helping anyone, especially since you switched lanes directly in front of me several of those times yet I'm still with you :p. You're just slowing traffic down. 

3) Too bad you SUCK at planning... if you know your exit is the next one, why do you get in the left lane 4 lanes away from your exit and than frantically try to cross in front of these 3 lanes which carry 2,000+ cars per hour per lane :\. Yea... next exit bud.

4) Turning signals are supposed to give a warning as to your next move... they are NOT to announce what you were already executing. Yes..., thank you for putting on your signal AFTER you cut me off. Yes, i'm sure that helped me slam my breaks 3 seconds ago. 

5) Yea... don't worry about me going 35 mph 100 feet away, you go ahead and take your right turn on red without looking into my lane. I like honking my horn at you...

6) No, you are not allowed to enter my lane when theres only 15 feet between the car in front of me and myself. There's a reason for that space...that is when I slam on my brakes, I dont' smash into the car in front... 6 inches doesn't exactly give me that luxury.

7) I understand that you might have to take a left turn if you're stuck in the middle of an intersection when the light turns red, we all get in that situation. But you six cars behind that guy... no. Now you're just being impatient. Wait your damn turn.

8) If you know the left lane is gonna be closed in 1/4 of a mile.... why do you wait til you are at 1/32 of a mile to merge? Who the hell do you think you are?

9) You know that area where the exit lane splits off from the highway and there's that nice triangular shaped gap... yea... you AREN'T supposed to drive in that. Did you get off to early... shame... I think thats a sign your so inattentive that you should STAY OFF!

10) Yes... I know there's construction... but why does that give you the right to take the center lane, skip in front of us 15 cars waiting for the green late for you to take a left turn on a red? Sure there's no cross traffic from the closed onramp... but there's still oncoming traffic from the left side of the road.... 

11) Sorry 70 mph in a 55 mph isn't fast enough... if you have issues with that, please go around me and get a ticket.... Similarly... yes, 35 E is posted at 45 mph and I agree its slow... but going 65 isn't exactly cool either :\

12) So when are you gonna take that turn cause you've had that signal on for 2 miles now....

13) Braking isn't the answer to everything X(

14) Seriously... the roads of Saint Paul aren't large enough for you to talk to your buddy on the sidewalk....

15) Just because you're more willing to do a rolling stop, doesn't mean I wasn't at the stop sign first :\ Its my right of way X(